I think this video is powerful in explaining that we are the only reason why we succeed or fail. I have taught over 3500 Real Estate agents about building daily and weekly habits that will allow them to succeed. What is interesting is you don’t often hear is “I didn’t work”, what you hear is ” The program wasn’t right for me.” I is interesting that when I see someone succeed it is because they decided to work and commit to actions that would give them a positive outcome over time. When we fail, it’s isn’t because of the program it is because we decided to not commit.
In our world of business and life we have a big decision to make. Are we in our box or out of it? This is the premise to the book I just finished called. Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box
As we engage with other individuals we can be perceived in two different ways. “In the box” meaning we objectify those we interact with. We feel that we are smarter, more deserving and on a higher plane then other individuals. “Out of the box” meaning we see others as humans with needs just like ours. We are on the same level and want to better understand how we can help others achieve what they want in life. We do this by caring, listening and understanding that we have a desire to help.
A good leader has humility. A good leader listens far more then they speak, and allows the student to realize their true potential.
This book uses an entertaining story about an executive facing challenges at work and at home to expose the precise psychological processes that conceal his true motivations and intentions from himself and trap him in a “box” of endless self-justification.
You get back exactly what you place out in the world. As humans we tend to rationalize everything. When we rationalize over time it creates true self-deception. After a while we completely believe our self-deception as the norm. We then tend to wonder why individuals don’t work as hard as we do, or don’t seem to understand us? CEO’s that can’t get their team to work with them. If they would step out of their box and really see what they are putting out to the world they would then have true perception of what others really see in them.
No matter your profession, your personal relationships, or relationship with kids. This is a great book that will open your eyes to learning how to get out of your own box!
A Recent post form Seth Godin talked about us all having a list and that list becomes what we tend to focus on whenever we need to make a decisions. Here were his examples.
"I don't have a manager, I need to pay off student debt, my boss never lets me, I'm really busy because of soccer season, my knee is acting up, there's already five galas coming up, my RSI hurts when I type, I don't have a degree, I have a degree and can't waste it, I'm not good at that, I tried it before but it didn't work, I've never tried it before, the weather is crazy, isn't it, the election is right around the corner, it's been too long at this job they won't listen to me, I'm going to retire soon, I'm too young, I'll never learn, it's too risky…"
Do you notice anything about this list? Much of it has a very negative hint to it. There is so much we end up not doing in life because we have trained our brain to have a fixed mindset. We play negative lists over and over in our heads until it absolutely becomes reality.
One thing to always remember, what you focus on will expand. The next time you find yourself sitting at the traffic light in your car alone, listen very carefully to what that voice inside your head is saying. Are you repeating a positive list or a negative list. You will be very surprised how just changing that voice to a positive tone will have a huge impact on how you view your life in general.
This isn’t a real estate topic I know but something I feel very strongly about. I have great memories of being a kid and going on some great adventures with my Dad. Everything from camping out, to back packing, to building amazing kites in our garage, or sitting around a camp fire carving whistles out of willow limbs. This last weekend I spent with my son Jack on a cub scout camp out. We had a blast.
The Akela talked about how it is so important to make this connections because one day my son will have kids and I want him to be able to draw from what he and I did and pass that along to his kids. Whether you’re a Dad or Mom with sons or daughters take that extra time to create those memories of things that you did with that child that had an impact and created an everlasting connections to that moment in time. I write this post because if your life is anything like mind, there is always 20 balls in the air and it can be easy to forget. I know growing up whether it was my Mom or Dad they always took the time to create these memories with me and my sister. In doing that it has helped to shape the person I am today and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t pull up some tape from the back of my mind and remember all the great times I had with my parents on so many different adventures.